"We have missed the whole office and virtue of praying if it doesn't rectify conduct. It is in the very nature of things that we must quit praying, or quit bad conduct." E.M. Bounds, a southern pastor in the American Episcopalian Church in the early 1900's.
I've read a lot of quotes from this early clergyman and liked them. I was ready to dismiss this categorically because it seemed to require that we shouldn't even try to pray if we weren't perfect, and I completely disagree with that. But as I thought of this more fully, I realized that allowing God to transform our conduct is one if the most significant benefits of prayer.
In my counseling office, I have talked to the husband who tells me about his wife, who is at church every time the door opens and speaks kindly to all the ladies on the church committees. But she's full of putdowns for him and the kids. Or the wife who tells me about the husband who reads his Bible every morning and still screams his disappointment at the entire household--including the dog-- all the way out the door every day.
How can we represent Jesus if we are yelling at our families, complaining to our spouses, or ranting and railing on Facebook, thinking we can get away with it as we hide behind a screen?
Pastor Bounds has a point. Our time with God should change our character. BUT I don't think we should quit praying because that may be the only way to leave our bad behavior behind.
When we pray, we can ask God like David did in Psalm 139: 23-24, "Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." The Lord will show us where we need His help with our character defects. And if we feel really brave, we can ask those close to us. They have been dying to let us know what is driving them crazy about our actions and attitudes.
God is in the transformation business. If we can get honest with Him about who we truly are, if we can face down our shadows and let God do His healing work in us, not only will we be better, but the world will be a better place. Because then, we as Christians can make God look good.
That's the work of my soul for the rest of my life. How about you?