Fake It Til You Make It...That line doesn’t always set well with people who believe in being candid and brutally honest. And I get that. That’s why I want to demonstrate how this principle plays out in real life and how powerful it can be.
Let’s look at the example of Samantha Jane. Don’t worry. I am not blowing anyone’s covers; she’s a composite of so many people I’ve seen. This lovely young lady has developed a problem with alcohol, and she no longer wants to be under its control. After joining a recovery program, she realizes that God can help her get sober. So she arms herself with prayer and heads out into a new day of sobriety. She does just fine until about 5:00 that evening. She’s leaving work, and her normal habit is to drop by the bar. But that always ends in regret, and now she recognizes that the bar is a slippery place, and she can’t go there and expect to stay sober.
So Sam makes plans to go to the mall instead, a good strategy—to avoid being in an environment that would tempt her to drink. However, as she travels to the mall, she realizes she must pass by the bar. Every cell in her body screams to pull into the parking lot. This time instead of succumbing to the temptation, she tells herself, “I don’t want a drink. I don’t want a drink.” But she is faking it till she makes it because she wants a drink more than she wants her next breath. But she will tell herself this 10 times or 10,000,000 times until it becomes the truth. It takes work and intentionality.
Samantha Jane grips the steering wheel until her knuckles turn white (Also called white-knuckle sobriety.) and drives by the bar. Each time she passes the bar it gets easier to do. Then one day, she is whipping through the racks of clothes at the mall, and it dawns on her that she had to pass the bar to get there. She marvels that she doesn’t even want a drink! That’s called second-order change. She currently isn’t craving alcohol, and she isn’t even consciously aware of that. However, without “faking til she made it,” without telling herself she didn’t want a drink so many times over, I submit, that she would not experience second order change. So it’s worth it. And like we say in recovery, “It works if you work it.”
It doesn’t just work with drugs and alcohol. I’ve applied it to food, worry, anger, and a host of other issues that plague the human soul. While I am a big believer in authenticity, I am a huge proponent of faking til you make it as well. Perhaps armed with new understanding of this time-tested tool, you may want to try it to help you past some troubling behavior. It works for me, but only if I work it.
Lovin’s Jesus,
Linda Newton
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