Now is a time when it would be really easy to let your anxiety run rampant. Instead, let’s examine ways to keep your anxiety from running you.
You don’t have to look far to find something to be fearful about. The net is full of articles on everything from “We aren’t washing our hands properly” to “We’re headed for a total economic meltdown.” While we are not at work we have time to ponder challenges like “How am I supposed to get my kid to the next grade level?” and “Will my parents get this virus and die?” THESE ARE CHALLNGING TIMES.
As a counselor for the past thirty years, perhaps I can offer tools to make these times a little easier. Believe me; I have to practice them everyday to stay grounded.
You’ve probably heard it said that it’s not our circumstances but how we view them that makes all the difference. If we can choose to see these times as “Memory Makers” and not stress inducers, we can fair far better.
Instead of focusing on the news and constantly checking for the latest stress-producing forecast, take the time to focus in the people right in front of you. Of course we want to be informed during this pandemic. But living online and constantly hearing bad news can only serve to generate more anxiety than our systems can handle. I am not suggesting that we bury our heads like an ostrich. Rather we choose times to check in with the news and stop allowing ourselves to be tech-pecked by every ping, ding or buzz warning us of more fearful info. You can stay adequately informed by checking the news no more than 3x a day—morning, noon, and evening—but not right before bed if you want to sleep at night. As we shelter in place, there isn’t much we can do about the situation around us anyway. So instead, we focus on the moment and the people right in front of us.
Play a game. Pull out a deck of cards and enjoy. Dust off those board games and laugh together. Take a nature walk with your kids or your pets. Breathe in fresh air and enjoy the beauty around you. Bake something with or for your family. Cook dinner together and bond. If you live alone, call a friend—not text—call and talk to a human voice. You could make their day.
BUT while you are engaging in these memory-making activities, BE PRESENT IN THE PRESENT. Don’t let your mind drift to all the POSSIBLE worries that could rob you of your peace in the moment. And for heaven’s sake, don’t discuss you grave concerns while your kids are around. We don’t need to feed their anxiety during this time. They’ve got to know this is a big deal for school to be cancelled. Parents are always insisting they go to school and now they are insisting they stay home. Something must really be up for that to happen.
You might find that when all of this dust or should I say all of these germs settle out, your kids will tell you that these were treasured times—a staycation when mom and dad played like we were on vacation. And dad didn’t have to drive like a maniac for miles a day to get to the next destination!
While you are resisting the urge to be tech-pecked by every new disturbing post and only checking the latest news 3x a day, don’t allow yourself to dive down the black hole of endless information during those check in times. Limit yourself to a 15 minute check in routine, then close the lid of your computer, click off your phone, and find real people to connect with.
The good news these days is that many people are posting positive and hope-filled articles online. Tune in but don’t let that substitute for spending quality time with the people under the roof. Many churches are going online with messages of encouragement.
Our church will be live streaming on Sunday morning and we will broadcast a class I am teaching on Stress Management at 10am this Sunday, March 22. Only God knew when I thought about doing this class last January that we would be going through this now. Tune in at 9am for the service and 10am for more tools.www.facebook.com/sierrapineschurch.org/
And check out my husband’s posts on our Facebook page. Since he has been relegated to home, he is using his time to write like he has always wanted to. He has written some inspiring and empowering posts that you will want to see. https://www.facebook.com/answersfrommomanddad