Acts of sacrifice, sprinkled freely throughout a marriage, make love richer and deeper. We know that, so what's the problem with doing it? Self.
Self constantly asks for more: What about my needs? What about my hurts? What about my time? Sacrificial love challenges us to give to our spouse in uncomfortable or unreasonable ways — ways that cost us emotion, time and pride.
If we pray to become more selfless, God will act. But self-giving love as a regular virtue in marriage means that we deal with some tough questions:
How can I love this way when I'm feeling unloved? For newlyweds, giving comes easier. After a few months, though, we need renewable motivation to maintain selflessness for our husband or wife, in spite of the cost to ourselves. Selflessness has to start with turning to Jesus.
Through Christ, we are promised God's love forever. To be selfless requires thinking about how God's love for us cost Him His Son. How can we apply this type of selflessness to loving our spouse?
Why put myself out when my spouse is acting like a jerk? What better time is there? Jesus didn't wait till we became more kind or thoughtful before He died for us. He did it while we were still selfish and uncaring. This same extraordinary kind of love, shown in small acts of generous behavior, will improve your marriage.
One of the most selfless things about my husband is the way he listens when I'm a jerk. Even when I am the worst version of myself, he still loves me. I may not love me, but he does.
Because I love him, I ask the Lord to help me not stay in that negative, critical place. I don’t want to weigh him down by my frustration with whatever is going on around me.
Thank the Lord we can call on Him for help. Philippian 2:13 tells us that God will not only help us do His will; He will help our attitude to want to do His will. There’s no better deal than that. But I have to let go of my stinkin’ thinkin’ and ask for His help.
What's the difference between selflessness and passively letting my spouse get his or her way? For the answer to this, check out our Answers From Mom and Dad Facebook page:
https://www.facebook.com/answersfrommomanddad
Lovin’ Jesus,