Well, as my journey to better health continues, I ended up in the ER again! But this time, I didn't just feel like I was going to pass out—I DID!! I think I took years off my husband's life because he found me in the middle of the night, splayed out on the bathroom floor. He tried to get a pulse, and poor thing, thought I was a goner until he grabbed my wrist to look at my Fitbit. It registered my heart rate at 30! He remembers every second vividly, but I don't remember much of anything.
As God in his goodness would have it, my son and his wife were at my house. My son helped get me in the car, or my husband says that I was so weak, he couldn't have gotten me there by himself. I spent the morning in the ER and was transferred to the hospital for observation overnight. But the frustrating thing was the heart monitor they gave me the week before didn't register the event! So quite honestly, the hospital staff treated me like a histrionic female hypochondriac.
I asked for a consult with the cardiologist in the ER. They said I could get one when they sent me upstairs. When I got on the floor, I asked twice again for a consult and was blown off both times. I had questions. The heart doc on the floor the week prior told me to come back if I felt faint. I actually fainted, so I came back and was treated like I was making things up.
When the floor doctor came to tell me that he had consulted with cardiology and I was good to go home, I resigned myself to give up on getting my questions answered. I falsely reasoned that everyone else in the hospital needed the doctors more than I did. So I should just stuff my needs and go away quietly, a pattern I learned all too well in childhood. BUT my codependent recovery taught me that while I care for the needs of others, I have to include myself too.
When the nurse came in to get me ready to leave, I informed him calmly but firmly that I would leave only after I had a chance to talk to a cardiologist! They couldn't get one there fast enough.
I have heard again and again that we have to advocate for our own health. I found out firsthand that's true. I feel for medical personnel these days. I know they are overloaded. But that just reinforces my conviction that we have to speak up for ourselves.
I'm still on the journey and learning more every day.