Recently, I shared my testimony at a Celebrate Recovery meeting at Sierra Pines. While I was putting it together, I realized that I’ve had a lot of people to forgive in my life. And it wasn’t easy. It meant that I had to spend a lot of time studying what forgiveness looks like and how to make it happen.
This is from a talk I did as we were just starting Celebrate Recovery and preaching through the Road to Recovery on Sunday mornings. It’s from material provided by John Baker and Rick Warren. This insight was helpful to motivate me to forgive the offenders in my life.
I forgive because…
1. God has forgiven me.
And if God has forgiven me, I should forgive other people. Colossians 3:13 says, “Never hold grudges. Remember the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.”
When I remember how much God forgives me it makes it a whole lot easier to forgive other people. I will never have to forgive anybody else, more than God has forgiven me. I can offer up grace to others as Christ did for me.
2. Resentment doesn’t work.
In recovery, we say, “Resentment is me drinking poison and hoping you die!” It’s unreasonable, unhelpful, unhealthy.
Job 5:2 states, “To worry yourself to death with resentment would be a foolish, senseless thing to do.” He says resentment is foolish because it is illogical and unreasonable. Does resentment ever cause people to do stupid things? Yes. It doesn’t work. You always hurt yourself more than the other person.
Ecclesiastes 6:9 reads, “It’s foolish to harbor a grudge.” It’s a waste of energy. Again in Job 18:4, we see, “You’re only hurting yourself with your anger.” When you get angry and when you get resentful against somebody, you don’t hurt them. You’re worrying, stewing, spewing, all upset about it, and it’s not bothering them. Someone may have hurt you ten, twenty, thirty years ago, and you still feel resentful about it. It’s still making you miserable; they’ve forgotten it.
In his book Mood Swings, Stephen Arterburn writes, “Choosing not to forgive allows others to continue to abuse us as we endlessly relive their offense.”
I’ve never talked to anybody who’s been resentful and they say, “I feel so much better being resentful.” Bitterness just makes you mad and unhappy.
Another recovery-ism: “Resentment does more to harm the vessel in which it’s stored than the object on which it’s poured.” And it’s true. The person I may be holding a grudge against may never think of me while I endlessly stew about something they’ve done. How sad!
Unforgiveness is like cancer that eats you alive, it’s poison. It has physical consequences. Have you ever said, “That guy is a pain in the neck.” He may be. But that may be the cause of your pain in the neck!
It can lead to depression. It can cause fatigue because nothing drains you emotionally like holding onto bitterness. It drains your body of energy. You need to forgive those that hurt you, for your own sake.
3. I need forgiveness in the future.
Mark 11:25 tells us, “When you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins too.”
In the Lord’s prayer, we read, “Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors.” If you prayed, “Lord, forgive me as much as we forgive everybody else.” Would you really want that?
You need to forgive other people because God’s forgiven you,
because resentment doesn’t work and because you’re going to need forgiveness in the future and you don’t want to burn the bridge that you’ve got to walk across. Forgiveness is a two-way street.
A guy came to John Wesley one time and said, “I can never forgive that person. Never.” John Wesley said, “Then I hope you never sin. Because we all need what we don’t want to give.” Don’t burn that bridge that you need to walk across.
Wise insight from Celebrate Recovery.