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Here is a powerful letter I received from a very articulate woman after she viewed our “Forgive and Forget?” video from Answers From Mom and Dad.

 Her comments is amazing and insightful, not to mention very helpful.

 Hello Linda,

 I was blessed to attend a retreat where you spoke last year. You shared with us about Forgiveness. We spoke shortly after you talked about Saul and David.

In your sharing, you referenced that Saul’s jealousy of David drove him to madness and a thirst for revenge.  It was at that point that David realized that he could never return to how things were between them, no matter how much Saul spoke of how he loved David as his own son.  Also, the fact that David could have killed Saul in the cave, but chose to cut off a piece of his robe and show Saul that in fact, he made the choice not to.  But then, David left Saul and did not return home with him.   David could have chosen the wrong path and gone with Saul to his home, but he was waiting for God’s timing and not his own.  He made a deliberate choice and knew that it was only a matter of time before Saul would be back to hunt him down.  So, they parted ways at that point.  I have held that your message was from God that day.  Your perspective you shared that day changed everything about what I believed.  I want to thank you.

On March 10th, my mother passed away.  She was the Saul in my life.  When I met you, I had already heard from God clearly to wait on his timing and not return to the relationship that I had with my mother.  As painful as it was for me, I also made a deliberate choice.  It was also painful to know that up to that point, no pastor had ever made a clear distinction between forgiveness, and what that might mean in some cases where the relationship was abusive.  So, I was conflicted with what I know God had clearly given to me; what I knew to be the truth about my mother, and the seemingly overwhelming message from the pulpit that you need to restore the relationship.  Your sharing of Saul and David opened a door wide enough for anyone, with any sense and understanding of wounded relationships, to comprehend the reason God had placed the account of that event in the bible.  It clearly shows that even though God wants us to forgive, he does not want His children placed in harm’s way when it becomes obvious that the other individual has no intention or desire to change.

My mother had been in the hospital for almost 2 ½ weeks.  She had suffered a brain aneurism and was placed in a deep induced coma. With the passing of my mother, I am no longer in bondage.  I have completely forgiven her and am actually happy for her, because I know that she is now free.  I know that there are people who judge me because I am not “broken hearted” and possibly shattering the norm in how people are “supposed to behave” when a loved one dies.  But in actuality, I dealt with this four years ago, when I realized like David did, that she was never going to change; nor would she even try.  But let me share with you what has happened since her passing….

In helping my father though this, our relationship has changed.  We now speak of things that we could never speak of, and talk about issues openly.  I always sensed that he too would be free, and I was right.  He has sought out a church on his own, and has been reading his bible as well. God is working in him.  God is restoring the relationship with not only me, but his sons as well.  My father has an amazing network of friends, and they have stepped up to make sure that he is doing well.  I am excited about finally having a relationship with my father.  My brothers are too.

So in the end, I look forward to restored relationships in heaven.  I look forward to the day when there will be a healthy relationship that could have never been here on earth.  Until then, I am now free to live guilt free and suffer no more pain or feel no more obligation to what could have never been.

And oh yes, I watched the video, “Forgive and Forget?”.  I plan on sharing it with my students in my Human Relations course, because I believe that it will help them with their own relationships.

Thank you for letting God work though you.

Sincerely, Nancy


April 13, 2014 @07:55 pm

This is a powerful letter and made my heart smile :) Thanks for sharing.

April 13, 2014 @07:53 pm

Linda, Thank you for allowing us to use your post. It will appear Tuesday, April 15 on the SMORE blog.

April 09, 2014 @02:52 pm

How TOTALLY AWESOME to be God’s vessel for this woman and allow her peace. You Rock!

April 09, 2014 @02:51 pm

Linda, With your permission I would like to use this as a guest post on our blog.


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