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12 Ways to Turn Your Pain into Praise

Sapphires from Psalms

Better Than Jewels


There are times when someone we care about loses someone they love. That is where I was this week, trying to provide comfort to a grieving mother. I have never been afraid to wade into someone’s pain with them. Perhaps it’s because of my own hurts and losses along life’s path. Many times folks avoid a grieving friend because they don’t know what to say. Here is some awesome advice from Grief Share, an organization that meets in churches to help folks deal with the daunting task of grieving for someone they love:

Often times the best thing to say is nothing at all, but just to be present. Tears are a normal and proper response in times of mourning. It is good to weep with those who have experienced loss.


Keep it Simple.

“There are no words to say.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“I love you.”

Let them know they are not alone.

“ Thinking of you today.”

“We’ve been praying and we will continue to pray.”

Tell them you’ll be there for them.

“If there is anything I can do, no matter how small, I want to help.”

“If you ever want to talk, day or night, please call me.”

Don’t avoid talking about their loved one.

“He was such a good guy.”

“I always admired how sweet and kind she was.”


“I remember the time when she and I got to talk about...”

“I’ll never forget the day he pulled that funny prank on me.”


Don’t compare their pain with your own.

I know just how you feel.”

“My grandmother died too, so I understand.”

Don’t rush to the end of the grief process.

“You’ll get over this soon,”

“Time heals all wounds.”

Don’t try to explain God’s actions.

“God always picks the prettiest flowers first.”

“God must have needed her close to him.”

Don’t substitute.

“Let’s be thankful you still have other children.”

“It must be a comfort to you that your other grandfather is still living.”

Don’t theologize.

“All things work together for good; God will bring good from this.”

“God never gives us more than we can handle.”

Don’t be fatalistic.

“It must have been her time to go.”

“This is obviously God’s will.”

I pray this is a help to you,

Lovin’ Jesus~

Linda Newton, 

Empowerment Educator

Twitter @Momanddadanswer








November 19, 2014 @10:06 pm

YES! Grief Share is awesome, all good words of wisdom, thank you!

Christina Luce
November 19, 2014 @10:05 pm

Thank you, Linda.

November 19, 2014 @10:04 pm

Great advice.


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